I have to admit, although I highly doubt this will come as a shock to most people that know me, that intercessory prayer has been a challenging practice for me. Endless conversations and readings and it’s still murky. But I realized that I’m not ready to throw it away.
If you haven’t recently, read John 14:1-14. The familiar story ends with Jesus promising to answer prayers done in his name. When I read it, I felt a little of the heat that comes sometimes with anger rise up in me. A reminder of why I have struggled so much with this type of prayer. I felt angry because Jesus says, “if in my name you ask me for anything, I will do it.”
But I did, I did ask. I asked and you didn’t answer.
There have been so many times that I have called to God with a specific prayer, only for the heartbreak to come that I was trying to ward off. The death, the pain, the sadness, when whatever I begged would or wouldn’t happen doesn’t, or does. So, I felt angry and also sad, when I was reminded of these moments. Hopes and desires and even needs, laid before God, and at the time, felt like they were ignored or forgotten.
When this has been our experience, why might we still engage in prayers of intercession?
Because it’s what there is left to do.
Jesus says we will do the work he has done, and even better. Before instructing us on prayer, he reminds us that we have agency. There will be work to do. But when the work is done, or we can’t do it anymore, we can pray. We can invite God into the situation. We can join with the Holy Spirit.
Whether I understand God as able to do something I pray for or not, I know that God desires to do it. I’ve shared before that when presented with the theological question of whether God can be all powerful or all loving, I understand God to be all loving, and so not omnipotent. While God may not be able to do something, God still wants to do it. I don’t know what the limits are. All I know is the Spirit will show up. So when there I’ve done all of the work I can do, this is what I have. So, I still pray for God’s intercession.
Last year, around this time, I was working in a hospital as a chaplain. I had struggled all semester with the amount of intercessory prayer I engaged in for the role. One weekend, when I was the only chaplain on duty in the hospital, I responded to an emergency call for a seven month old being brought in by ambulance. The baby was unresponsive, the paramedics had gotten a heartbeat back on the way to the hospital, but lost it again just as they arrived. I stood there, with nurses and doctors and paramedics, and in a moment when no one was asking me to pray, it’s all I could do. I asked over and over that this baby would live. That when his parents arrived, we could tell them they’re baby would be okay. But he died. When his mom arrived, I had to tell her that he didn’t make it. I held her while she cried. I cried with her.
I asked and asked, in your name.
Not much later, I had another weekend shift where I was alone. I was called to the children’s hospital to be with a mother whose daughter was ill. When I arrived I learned that the little girl was in an induced coma due to some kind of brain injury. The mother was distraught. I asked her if she would like for me to pray with her and her little girl. We each held one of her hands and I prayed that God would heal her. That we know God was with her, that God loved her, God grieved with her. While praying, the little girl moved, then shouted. She woke up. She couldn’t speak because she was intubated, and I ran and got the nurses who immediately came to give her medicine to get her back to sleep. They didn’t know how she woke up. I was shocked. But the mother was not. She was so calm and kept saying God was showing us that her little girl was still there. I went to check on the little girl a couple of days later. Within days of first being with her, she was able to talk and was recovering swiftly. I spoke with her doctor and was told that her injury was such that they were not sure she would survive when she came in. She was transferred to a rehab unit after two weeks, with a full recovery predicted. She asked to pray with me every day I got to see her. This was more than I imagined was possible when I prayed.
I asked and I asked, in your name.
There will be things we ask for in prayer that may not be possible. But even if they aren’t, God still wants to do them, so we still ask. The Spirit moves with the desire of God to do Good, even when there is only the smallest fraction of a possibility. So we pray, even in the mostly unlikely of circumstances, even when everything tells us that something is impossible. We boldly ask God to intervene. Knowing that the Spirit will move toward Goodness, even when conditions don’t allow for what we pray for.
We ask and we ask, in your name.
(By: Britney Yount)